May 2012
Kid I babysit: There's a monster under my bed!!
Me: That's silly, there's no such thing as mo...
Me: OH GOD IT'S TEARING MY ARM!
Me: Kidding. He only eats kids.
Me: Good night.
May 1st
18,573 notes
April 2012
Apr 30th
526 notes
Apr 30th
17,672 notes
Apr 30th
53,767 notes
Apr 30th
66,108 notes
Apr 30th
104,388 notes
Apr 30th
282,583 notes
Apr 30th
7,598 notes
Apr 30th
44,442 notes
Apr 30th
670 notes
Apr 30th
107 notes
Apr 29th
32 notes
Apr 29th
14,067 notes
Apr 29th
25 notes
Apr 29th
106 notes
Apr 28th
2,419 notes
Apr 28th
26 notes
Apr 28th
6 notes
Apr 28th
7 notes
Apr 28th
131,910 notes
Apr 28th
1,153 notes
Apr 28th
280 notes
Apr 28th
103 notes
Apr 28th
926 notes
me: walks into school
me: so when can i leave
Apr 28th
118,892 notes
Apr 28th
15 notes
Apr 27th
5,397 notes
Apr 27th
20,636 notes
Apr 27th
1,288 notes
Apr 27th
79 notes
Apr 27th
Apr 27th
105 notes
Apr 27th
43 notes
Apr 27th
62 notes
Fuck you Tumblr for showing me pictures of girls I...
me….
Apr 27th
3 notes
Apr 27th
343 notes
Apr 27th
135 notes
Apr 27th
23 notes
Apr 27th
94 notes
Apr 27th
204 notes
Apr 26th
1 note
Apr 26th
442 notes
Teacher: C'mon guys! You did this in 3rd grade!
Student: I don't even remember what I had for dinner last night you fucking whore
Apr 26th
346,218 notes
Apr 26th
1,148 notes
Apr 26th
52 notes
Apr 26th
75 notes
Apr 26th
12,547 notes
Apr 26th
27,937 notes
Apr 26th
18,968 notes
convos with my 80 yr old grandpa season 1 episode 1
grandpa: what's this hungary james movie that everyone's talking about
me: no pop, it's hunger games
grandpa: hunger what?
me: hunger GAMES
grandpa: hungry gays?
me: yes pop, yes
grandpa: well if they stopped spending their lunch money on hair gel maybe they wouldn't be so hungry
Apr 26th
31,945 notes